Extracts from Piggy’s Diary Essay

The naval officer told the ‘small savages’ that he had to look around the island but he would not be finished until just before sundown. Therefore, at sundown all the children were to meet at the Castle Rock. One of the larger savages wandered off on his own. He felt a mixture of feelings on the one hand he had been saved both from death and the island. However, he was going to be taken into larger war that has the same attitudes about civilization and power as the war on the island. Ralph found that he was wandering past the remains of burnt trees to the shelters. Sitting down against a tree he put his hand on a rock. Trying not to think about the events on the island he threw it absentmindedly into the sea. He was about to get up when he felt something else. As he drew it out he found it was an old exercise book. Opening it up on the first page he read, â€Å"Thomas Martin’s Diary.† Intrigued and not remembering a ‘Thomas Martin’ he opened it and began to read: 26th June 1957 What a day! We were still in the plane. But suddenly it gave a huge jolt I had my seat belt on but a lot of the boys fell out their seats. The plane started to loose altitude very quickly. We had been attacked by the Reds. Luckily a man with a microphone kept everybody in order and told us all to get into the escape pod. I thought I was going to have an asthma attack when the escape pod was falling down and I had to take my glasses off in case they fell off if the pod hit the ground hard. Ralph realized who was writing the diary. A wave of grief hit him as he thought how he had never known the name of his true wise friend Piggy. He felt the prickles of tears behind his eyes and a single tear made a made a clean trail through his dirt stained face. Picking up the book he carried on reading. When the pod hit the ground all the boys got out and ran madly into the forest I tried to stop them because I thought that the grown-ups would want to have a meeting. However, they ran off shouting so quickly they did not hear me. Although I began to run after them I couldn’t because of my asthma. The first boy I met was a little older then I but I still went to talk to him. Immediately he started saying â€Å"Perhaps there aren’t any grown ups anywhere†. He seemed to be pleased when we decided that he was probably right. Personally I did not feel pleased about this because grown-ups are important because they would have tea and discuss what to do and make rules and put everybody in order. I then realized that we would have to do all these things ourselves. First we would need a leader I had a feeling this boy would be a good leader. I know that I could never be a leader because I do not look the part. Therefore if he could be the leader it would be useful for me to make friends with him so that I could help him. So I asked his name but he was not very responsive when I was talking to him and he did not even ask for my name in return. Unlike me Ralph seemed to accept his new surroundings quite easily. I know that it will be hard for me on this island because of my asthma and I can not move or see the branches well. As Ralph was not being very responsive I decided to tell him a secret to hopefully help with our friendship. But I had poorly judged Ralph’s character because as soon as I had told him my dreaded nickname he started to laugh and run about shouting â€Å"Piggy, Piggy† before I could tell him my real name. I had a combination of feelings because even though I was pleased that Ralph had started to recognise me, I was worried that he might tell everyone. So I made it very clear to him that I did not want anyone to know this name. Although I thought that Ralph would be a good leader he did not think much because he just believed that his father would come to rescue him. He did not think of how his father would find him. That is why it is important that he has help from me if he going to be leader. If we think that we may stay here till we die then we are prepared for the worst and anything else is better. When I realized that we could be on the island for a long time it was obvious that we needed organisation. So we were very lucky when Ralph saw the conch. The conch is going to be very important on the island because it will help us organise things. I was so excited when we found it and very pleased because I knew what it was and how it worked. It was very important that Ralph himself blew the conch because he would establish himself as leader straight away. When the boys started coming to the call of the conch I started asking them their names because in a civilised society everybody knows each others name and it is good for organisation. Then the choir arrived. They were marching like the army and were lead by a red headed boy, Jack Merridew. Immediately he seemed unsatisfied and angry because Ralph was not the â€Å"man with a trumpet†. As soon as I saw him I thought that he was a cruel savage boy because even though it was very hot he made the choir stand and he did not let them sit down until one of them fainted because of the heat. I felt that I could not ask any names from the choir because or the atmosphere created by Jack Merridew. My suspicions about Jack were confirmed when he said to me â€Å"Shut up, Fatty† when I was telling him about the names that we had found. This shocked me there are not many people who as soon as they meet somebody insult them. But once again in my life I heard everybody laughing at me. Ralph immediately defended me but instead of helping me he made it worst by telling them my dreaded nickname even though I had asked him not to tell anybody. All the boys laughed at me louder this time. Why does this always happen to me I am never nasty to any one but still children always seem to leave me out and think that it is ok to laugh at me. After what seemed like hours the laughter died down and Ralph suggested that â€Å"we ought to have a chief to decide things†. With simple arrogance Jack stated that he should be chief. This boy’s character was getting worst and worst with every word he said. For a horrible moment I thought that Jack would become chief but then we decided to have a vote. Although Ralph won the vote there was still the problem that Jack had had some supporters therefore Ralph’s position of chief was not totally confirmed. However, as soon as Ralph was chief he made what I think will be a huge mistake. By giving Jack the choir that gives Ralph’s biggest opponent for leader power which could prove dangerous. Then Ralph decided who would search the island with him. He did not pick me so I asked him if I could go and he said â€Å"Your no good on a job like this†. This along with telling everybody my horrible nickname really hurt me. So I tried to tell him how much he’d hurt me. He did not even understand what I was talking about at first but when he did realize he was a bit nicer. But this confirms what I thought about Ralph; he does not think before he does something. A harsh bird cry distracted Ralph’s reading. He went through in his mind what he had just read. He knew that it was all true. It was uncanny how many things that Piggy had hinted could happen had come into reality. Piggy who was almost blind to his immediate surroundings had special understanding of the future which no other boy could see. Ralph looked up. It was getting near to sun down. If he did not start walking back soon he would be late. So he got up and walked still reading. 21st July 1957 I still can not believe that some of the children believe in the beast. There is absolutely no prove also it is impossible. Today seemed at first quite normal I was trying to talk to Ralph about making sundials but he started being sarcastic and told me to â€Å"Shut up.† Throughout my entire life including on the island kids have been like that to me but still I can not get used to it. The only thing that has changed is I no longer fight back I just let kids be horrible to me and I hope that they will get bored. As every day goes past I feel that I am becoming detached from everybody and like normal I’m ending up all on my own. Ralph was still trying to ignore me but suddenly he jumped up shouting â€Å"Smoke! Smoke!† I had no idea what he was talking about because I could not see any smoke. Then I realized that Ralph had seen a ship, but because of my poor sight I could not see it. I had no idea what was going on. When I finally saw the ship I could not see any of our smoke. Ralph again was clinging onto a childish hope that â€Å"they’ll see our smoke†. But he was being too optimistic. Hopping was not good enough. What we had to do was check the fire because We weren’t helping anything by just standing watching the ship. It took a long time for Ralph to realize this but when he did he ran off like usual without thinking. He did not think how he was going to re-light the fire if it was out. He should have thought that he would need my specs and I could not run after him because of my asthma. Ralph had already run along was before he thought about this. I had tried to run after him but there was no chance of me keeping up with him. As I ran up the hill my breathing became more and more difficult and I my asthma nearly started. When I finally reached the top I hear Ralph say â€Å"They let the bloody fire out†. Grown ups would not have let the fire they would have kept it going. We had been so close to being rescued and getting off this island before things really started to get bad. Now the chance has gone and we may not get another one for years. I had a good idea why there was nobody watching the fire, it had to be something to with him, Jack Merridew. My suspicions were confirmed when I saw a procession led by him coming up the hill. In the group I saw the twins who were supposed to be watching the fire. As the procession came closer I noticed how some of them looked almost inhuman with there painted faces and chanting â€Å"Kill the pig. Cut her throat. Spill her blood.† They had a dead pig and they were looking so pleased with themselves. Suddenly the thought that even now I could be on my way home to my auntie came over me and I almost burst into tears. Jack and his hunters had betrayed Ralph by abandoning the fire. Even though Ralph had carefully explained how keeping the fire going was the most important job on the island. As Jack approached I wondered how Ralph was going to deal with this. Without a doubt there would be a confrontation between them. Jack was talking wildly about how he had killed the pig. He could not contain his joy at the power he felt â€Å"when they closed in on the struggling pig†. Jumping around, re-enacting the killing he was totally lost in his own morbid world. Ralph said â€Å"You let the fire out† twice before started to stop talking. But when Ralph said to Jack in a savage voice â€Å"They might have seen us. We might have gone home.† Ralph had made the possibilities of the ship real to me and my anger reached peak. I could not contain myself any longer and I shouted at Jack â€Å"You and your blood Jack Merridew! You and your hunting! We might have gone home† But before I could finish Ralph interrupted me. I did not mind this because Ralph’s grief was equal to mine. He started giving Jack exactly what he needed a talking down. Ralph needed to assert his power as leader. But he seemed a bit lost for words. Jack started trying to make poor excuses like â€Å"The job was too much. We needed everyone.† My anger got the better of me again. I started shouting at him saying â€Å"You didn’t ought to let the fire out. You said you’d keep the smoke going.† As soon as I said this I heard other hunters agreeing with me. For a moment I was pleased as now some of Jack’s own supporters were turning against him. For the first time on the island I felt that I could stand up to Jack. This did not last very long. Seeing some of his hunters agreeing with me, of all people, drove Jack to violence. He hit me as hard as he could in my stomach. Through a haze of pain I heard Jack shouting â€Å"You would, would you? Fatty!† Then I felt his fist hit my head. By this time the pain was not a problem I was already in tears. But I felt my specs being thrown from my head. Nobody else understands that on an island without my specs I probably would not survive. So I was desperate to find my specs. In the end Simon gave them back to me. I always think that there is something different about Simon but I can not quite put my finger on it. From the first time I had seen Jack I thought that he was a cruel savage boy and this was shown by his violent reaction. Jack was not annoyed because he had stopped us being rescued but because some of his own supporters agreed that he had made an awful error. This made him look bad. So he lashed out attacking me because I am weaker than him. The whole situation was worst when I saw that one of the lenses was cracked. Apart from the glasses being broken this was the next worst thing. Now I only have only one eye. I had never been so angry, I was not thinking straight I just said and did what ever came into my head. But ever bit of anger was directed at him. I thought Jack was going to hit me again so I hid behind a rock. I was barely aware of what Jack was doing but I could hear the other kids laughing, at me. Yet again it showed to me how immature all the kids on the island are, if we were like grown ups Jake would not get them laughing with him but he would get told off. Jack then proceeded to apologise. But he specifically said â€Å"I’m sorry. About the fire, I mean.† He made it perfectly clear that he was not sorry about hitting me and breaking my specs. But by apologising I could see that most of the boys thought that Jack had done a grown up thing and forgave him instantly. I could not believe that he had in fact gained respect by stopping us being rescued then apologising for it. I could see Ralph was thinking the same things as me. Also I noticed how Ralph was becoming a better leader because again he needed to show Jack that he was the chief. He did this by standing in the place where was easier to build the fire forcing Jack to build it in a less convenient spot. Then Ralph came to take my specs. Normally I am very protective of my specs but I felt that I could trust him. I had never felt trust towards anyone except my auntie and for the first time I realized that Ralph was my friend. Jack started to cook the meat. I could tell that he wanted to show the power he had by not giving me any of it. I suppose Ralph and I should not have eaten the meat but just the smell made my mouth water. Jack was not going to give me any but Simon shared some with me. I felt a wave of gratitude towards him. He was definitely different from the other boys; he seemed to try to do the right the thing what ever the consequence. Jack was just about to get angry with Simon when Rodger started telling the story of how they killed the pig. Jack could not bear his story to be told by anybody but himself. So he interrupted Rodger and started telling the story of how he outwitted and possessed the power over a living creature. The hunters started dancing shouting â€Å"Kill the pig. Cut her throat. Bash her in.† Ralph and I stood outside the circle. I felt detached from the group again but at least Ralph was with me. Watching them dancing around the fire made them look more like savages with no rules or discipline. If Ralph loses this power struggle against Jack I think that it is possible that we could all become savages. Ralph tripped over a tree root. This broke his concentration and he looked at his surroundings. Such was his attention to the diary he had been walking without thinking where he was going. To his right were some charred sticks and he realized that this was where Jack’s camp fire had been but the sand by the water was smooth again with no traces of violence. The thoughts of that terrible night, that appalling murder, came flooding back to him. Trying to suppress the memory he began to think about what he had just read in Piggy’s diary. There had been many things that he had never understood about Piggy. He had felt guiltier as he had read on because he had never really thought that Piggy’s feelings were seriously hurt when other kids, including him, were horrible to him. Like all the boys he had just got used to being horrible to Piggy. He made sure he was heading in the right direction and carried on walking with his nose in the diary. 14th September 1957 I am worried about Ralph. He has taken the accident with Simon very badly and if he carries on thinking about it he could go mad. He must forget his conscience that is troubling him. The best way to deal with these things is not to think or talk about them. It was an unfortunate accident, Simon was batty anyway and he should not have been crawling around in the dark. Ralph and I were on the outside so we did not so we did not do anything wrong. Also it was not our fault all this has all happened because of him. If he had not kept reminding everyone about the beast and making another tribe the accident would have never happened. Anyway we cannot change the past so there is pointless destroying ourselves by thinking about it. I have tried throughout my time on the island to think what the grown ups would have done. But if the grown ups were here none of this would have happened. When I said to Ralph â€Å"You’re still chief† he laughed. I see that having the conch has a lot less meaning now Jack Merridew is chief of his own tribe. There are hardly any biguns left now, only Sam and Eric. Ralph would not listen to my reasoning about the accident but at least he did agree to tell Sam and Eric we had left early. By saying this it would avoid us having to discuss the accident. When we went to see Sam and Eric I felt strangely embarrassed in front of them. When we told them that we had left early I could see that by the way we all spoke, moved and kept repeating â€Å"we left early† that we had all witness the accident. I gave Ralph my specs to re-light the fire before he even asked for them. Now I definitely felt that I could trust him more than anyone. Ralph was still very preoccupied with thoughts of Simon and he started saying how Simon â€Å"said something about a dead man.† So I tried to get Ralph’s thought away from the accident to the fire. I’m not sure whether Ralph was still preoccupied with the accident or that the island was getting to him but when Sam said â€Å"what is the good?† meaning the fire Ralph seemed like he could not remember. I had to remind him. But now with only four of us it is going to be impossible to keep the fire lit all the time. So I gave the idea that â€Å"We can light it every morning† because nobody will see the smoke in the dark. With only Ralph, Sam and Eric to speak to I felt more confident in making suggestions because I was less lightly to get laughed at. But yet again I got the impression that I was the only person who really gave thought to the situation. As I was going to sleep Ralph for no real reason asked me if I was â€Å"all right?† It did not take much for him to ask but it made me feel that I was wanted and that Ralph was glad that I was with him. I was very content. But this did not last. Some noise woke me form my sleep. At first I thought that it was nothing. I just thought that I must have woken because after being on the island for a length of time I had tended to start out of sleep for the tiniest noise, like a hunted pig. I had a sudden desperate desire stronger than ever before to get off the island. I hated living in fear like an animal. I said to Ralph â€Å"We got to get out of this.† But Ralph sniggered at the thought of being rescued; it sounded like he had almost given up hope and my idea was stupid. We talked for a bit and Ralph had just stopped laughing at me and was going back to sleep when I heard what was definitely a footstep snapping a stick. With out thinking I said to Ralph â€Å"It’s come. It’s real.† I believed it was the beast and I had never been so terrified in all my life. I started breathing hard and then my throat seemed to be growing thinner and it was becoming so hard to breathe. I realised that my asthma was starting. I was right. It was the beast, Jack Merridew had come. I thought he had come for the conch. I could not see anything in the dark but I only cared about being able to breathe again. Kids kept tripping over me and fists were flying everywhere but I barely noticed as I was slowly suffocating. The only thing that really bothered me was when I realized that I had put my specs on the floor before I went to bed and they could well get trodden on. Even with my asthma I started looking for them with my hand because if I did survive and my specs were broken my life would hardly be worth living anyway. When the fight had finished Ralph was the first person to ask â€Å"How’s Piggy?† I felt that Ralph was worried about my safety. As the other boys were talking about how the fight had gone I continued searching for my specs. But when Ralph said that â€Å"They didn’t take the conch† their whole plan dawned on me. The beast had not been after the conch but my specs. I felt just as bad when I had my asthma. The thieving beast, Jack Merridew, had blinded me. Now it would always be night for me on the island. The beast had done the worst thing to me, apart from killing me. It did not care that I was now blind and my life would be misery. In fact it had never cared how I felt from the first time I met him. I tried to calm myself down and think. Grown ups would not have let this happen now we have to put it right, and go and talk to the savages like grown ups. Tomorrow I am going to face Jack Merridew. Ralph sat down on the sand and put his head in his hands. He knew that before he had read the diary he hardly knew anything about Thomas Martin. He definitely agreed that Piggy and he had grown very close on the island and he was pleased that Piggy had also felt the same. He felt so guilty because of how he had told everybody Piggy’s deadly nickname. For some reason he felt that everything would have been different for Piggy if he had just thought before he had spoken. Piggy had been the only boy on the island who had sense, who knew what should have been done but he was ignored. Piggy had endured all the names he had been called and the disrespect he had got from everyone. Everybody had just got used to being nasty to him. He had been the bravest boy on the island. Piggy, who has been the brunt of ridicule, who was physically weak, had shown his real strength by defending what he believed in and facing the beast, Jack Merridew. Two questions came into Ralph’s mind. â€Å"What was he going to with diary?† and â€Å"What would Piggy have wanted him to do with the diary?† Ralph remembered how Piggy had reacted after Simon’s death. â€Å"Look, Ralph. We got to forget this. We can’t do no good thinking about it† he had said. At that time Ralph had not understood but now he felt sure what Piggy would have wanted him to do. Picking up the diary he threw it as far as he could into the sea. He watched it stay afloat for a moment. Then become waterlogged and sink. The memories of the island were already fading.